The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star. When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football. Hello mum, guess what?" he say's. "I played for 20 mins today. We were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won.

Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me. Wonderful," says his mum, "Let me tell you about my day.Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, while you were having a great time."

The young lad is very upset, "What can I say mum, but I'm so sorry."

"Sorry!" says his mum, "It's your fault we moved to Liverpool
in the first place!"

As Mrs. Thompson stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same.

However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners ... he is a joy to be around."

His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."

His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."

Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class."

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself.

She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents.

Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist.

Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to”

After the children left, she felt the tears running down her cheeks.On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive.

The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets."

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times,

he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honours. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favourite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favourite teacher he ever had.

But now his name was a little longer....the letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring.Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married.He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.

Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, - "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel importantand showing me that I could make a difference."

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said,- "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference.

I didn't know how to teach until I met you."

Why not try to make a difference in someone's life today? / Tomorrow?

Now here is someone who needs all the help he can get....... Ole Guissepe here is replying to a document familiar to us all, a tax demand!

Mr Deputy Commissioner,
Taxation Office

Dear Sir,

Your letter arrived dis morning by rejisted mall. Mi sun and I wood hav gained much pleasha from it, had it not revived in us a melonkoly reflecshun of wot has gone befor.

You said that the account cood hav bin settled long ago and cood not understand why not. Wel, heer is the reason.

In 1945 I bort a sawmill on credit. In 1955 I bort a team of horses and to ponies and a timber wagon and a dubble barreled shotgun and to razor backs and all on credit. In the same year the bloody mil was berned to the ground leeving not a dam thing. One of mi ponies dide and I loned the other one to a stewpid barstid who starved the poor bugger to deth. After at I joined the church. In 1957 mi father dide and mi brutha was hanged or raping a penshuner.

A swaggy seduced mi dorta and I had to pay the barstid 50 pound to stop him becuming a relative.

The next year mi boy got mumps which spread to his balls and the poor lad had to be carstrated to save his life. Later I went fishing and the rotten bote sank and drowned mi to lads and none of them was the one who was carstrated.

Then the next year mi wife ran away with a sheered and left me the twins as a remembrance. I hired a housekeeper and later married her to keep the costs down. I had a bugger of a time trying to get her pregnant. I saw me docta and he told me to create sum excitement at the crucial moment. That nite I took mi shotgun to bed with me and at the time I thort was rite I fired the gun out the winder. Result: mi wife sh*it the bed and I rupchered myself and in the morning relized Iв?Td shot the best cow I ever had.

In 1960 sum barstid cut the nuts off my prize bull, I was buggerd completely so I took to drink. I drunk until all I had left was a pocket wach and a week bladder. Once more I took hart agin after a year bort a manure spredder and a reeper and a binder and a cow on credit. The floods came and washed the bloody lot away and I was nit inshurd, mi wife (the one who was the housekeeper) got VD from a salesman and anuther son not the one who was carstrated wiped his ars on a poison rebbit skin and dide from the infectshun.

You will imagin mi surprise on reeding that you will corz mi trubble if I do not pay up. If you can think of any trubble I hav missed out on I wood very much lyk to no abowt it.

I am praying for a shower of pig sh*it to pass yor way and I hop the sentre of it is over the buch of barstids in yer offis who sent this final demand.

She asks, "What?"

"SEX!!" he replies.

Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"

"I know," Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while."

"Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, remove! s his manhood and proceeds to hold it.

Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood. Then, one night, Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place.

Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K. She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him sitting by the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who was holding Harold's manhood!

Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have that I don't have?"

Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's."
;-)

Love will find a way!

"Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."

"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

"There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

" Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.

"So bust him," says the Chief.

"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed," All the more reason!"

"No, I mean really important," said the cop.

The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

Chief: "Governor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"

Cop: "I think it's God!"

Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"

Cop: "He's got the Pope as a chauffeur!!"

All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

Buy a dog.
If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it

Buy a dog
If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want

Buy a dog
If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies

Buy a dog
If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores

Buy a dog
If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually

But, on the other hand, If you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness...

Then.....................................

My friend, Buy a cat! 

http://www.worldschoolphotographs.com/

This is amazing.......
Life cycle... watch carefully
 
How do they do this???